Sunday, February 8, 2009

:-(

feeling really down about myself today. like i can't do anything right. what's wrong with me?????? i messed up again. spent a good (bad. whatever) forty five minutes hurting myself in various ways this afternoon.

you would think that i'd be pretty much feeling ok right now. i did my homework for therapy by being social (thanks shef i & co!!) and accepting a subbing job, even though i'm freaking out about it. i went the whole shabbos without hurting myself even once, which usually only happens on rare occasions. i got out of the house last night, and i'm getting out again tonight. so why do i feel so...yucky?

7 comments:

  1. Because you are putting in a tremendous effort. But keep it up. It is worth while. I'm rooting for you...

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  2. I am so, so happy about Shabbos! Glad to hear the good Shabbos was mutual! Regardless of what you did today, I'm seriously proud and it's almost a shame I wouldn't go online on Shabbos cuz I could have seen some 20-30-something hours on your ticker down there ;-)

    Anyway, this is extremely presumptuous for me to say, but I think you're feeling so yucky because the yuckiness sees what a great fight you're putting up and feels a need to fight back harder. :-P So keep it up and Mr. Yucky will learn his place!

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  3. Shef i I like you. :-D JSYK.
    Ditto to that....

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  4. twinkle-i think it's the opposite. i'm not trying hard enough. :(

    ummm-thanks. dunno yet if i'm keeping it.

    shef i-thanks for being there!! (here ;) and see my reply to twinkle for the rest.

    SD-see above...

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  5. Well, that wasn't the impression I got but if you feel you're not trying hard enough then just try harder. Simple.

    (If there's no harder to go to, that means you ARE trying hard enough. The result is in G-d's hands; all He wants you to do is what you can)

    @SD, thanks! I'm liking you too; I read your BOSD blog as well though I don't usually have much to say to that...

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  6. hey hope the job went well. if you hav a minute pls call.

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c'mon, i know you're reading this! what do you think?