Wednesday, April 22, 2009

albany lobby day report

ok...let's see if i can get my crazy day down here...

i got up at five fifteen this morning. i seriously have no clue HOW my father does that every day. it's not natural! it's crazy! anyway, buy ten to six i was at the bus stop waiting for my friend. we walked to the train together, and shlepped all the way into the city to meet up with the rest of the group.

on the bus, i met "mr. therapist guy" for the first time. it was pretty obvious that my friend and i were "little sheep & co" cuz we were the only single girl pair on the entire bus. in general, the talk around me was very triggering. when going to an event like this, be prepared to hear about abuse the entire time. and i mean the ENTIRE time. even on the bus.

in albany, we went into the legislative building for the press conference. it was really cool to see how diverse the crowd was. there were all different types of people there. men and women. young adults and grandparents. the range of jewish people ran from OTD to veise zoken. seriously. knitted kippot, big black yarmulkas. suit pants and torn jeans. clean shaven and long white beards. jews and christians. blacks and whites. every different type was represented. there was a lot of talk and such.

after the conference, we split into groups to go to different offices. my friend and i were in a group with a man and woman from long island, from an organization called "voice of the faithful", (they're catholic.) a couple from albany whose son was abused, i believe by a priest, but didn't say anything til thirty years later; and our group leader, a man from long island who was abused as a kid. we got the cold shoulder in some offices, but some were really nice.

anyone who lives in syracuse (if you do, or know someone who does, please pass on this info) the assemblywoman there said that the people in her area are asking her to support the weaker lopez bill, so make the voice of survivors known by calling her and saying otherwise. the markey bill can do so much more for victims, both past and future, than the lopez bill does.

after that, we went across to the capital for something or another, but my friend and i forgot out stuff in the legislative building, so we missed whatever it was.

the trip back was more endless talk. i don't mean to be rude to any of you who were there, but seriously, at some point we really need to SHUT UP!! we were all on the same side. none of us needed to be convinced. i couldn't believe how long some of them could stay on this topic without getting too triggered or mad and whatever.

i'm glad i went. it was really hard to keep saying over and over again that i was abused, and the statute is going to run out before i have time to do anything, but it was REALLY worth it. i think i gained from the experience.

if you want to know anything in specific....feel free to ask!


  1. maybe I'm being rude and insensitive, but- are what do you mean the statute is running out? are you planning on bringing this to court? I mean , he is your brother......

  2. i hear your point. but there are more factors to consider than just "he is your brother" (leaving aside the fact that while biologically he is my brother, i don't consider him one).

    ~are his kids safe?
    ~should he decide to pursue a job in chinuch, or another job around kids, will they be safe?
    ~there is therapeutic merit in filing a police report.

    and other such considerations. so...if i choose to do it, will it be easy? no. will i choose to do it? i really don't know...

  3. i was wondering the same thing as kasay but didnt know if i should/could point it out yet...
    i definitely agree with you about his kids and chinuch job; this is definitely not an easy decision, and im sure you'll discuss with the right ppl before you take THE step.

  4. I'm pretty sure that line of reasoning "he's just your brother" is what allows many abusers to abuse again.
    It's part of the reason why large sections of the Jewish community have not brought justice to evil-doers. Protecting their "brothers".

    They are no "brother" of mine . . .

  5. kasay, are you for real? So if it's a close relative it's ok? And if it's a rabbi it's also ok because, well, he's a rabbi?

    LS, you wrote in a later post, I'm kinda going from both ends here, chronological on laptop, reverse on pc, in Yom Kippur post you wrote that he threatened you. You should definitely file a police report. From that post it doesn't look like he changed at all.


c'mon, i know you're reading this! what do you think?