You have been grieviously hurt. The pain is still there. Question: Did anyone ask you for forgiveness? Obviously not. There is no obligation to forgive someone who has injured you when they haven’t asked for mechila (forgiveness) [and probably not acknowledged any wrongdoing]. As far as Lo sikom (revenge, ie: “you didn’t lend me, I won’t lend you), lo sitor (harboring ill will, ie: you didn’t lend me but I’m not like you, I’m better), lo sisno (do not hate)-there the Chafetz Chaim says one must be machmir (stringent). “Forgiveness” means absolving the perp from responsibility. That is not required.
If, for example, your two year old nephew would kick you in your shin, and leave a bruise, he’s only two years old, not responsible for his actions. You would automatically “forgive” him. If you can look at the perp(s) as “mentally defective” (and to some extent they are) and not responsible for what they did, and thus forgive them, WOW!! If you can actually have a cordial relationship, then “go to the head of the class.” A remarkable achievement, but NOT a requirement.
When we say vidui, we (A) acknowledge our wrongdoing, (B) we express remorse for what we did, and (C) we ask for forgiveness. Hashem, the Av Harachamon, forgives us. NO, you are not in deep trouble at all! You are reacting as any normal person. Hatzlocha