Elephant (unknown date, 2019)

I know I'm just a kid, and kids should be quiet and listen nicely but I really want to introduce my family to Elephant. But every time I try, they just laugh. They look right past her and don't even see that she's there.

I tried showing her to my teacher, but the teacher said it wasn't sharing time, and told me to get my silent reading if I was done my math.

The other kids all move over when Elephant is near, cause she takes up so much space. They don't play with me cause they say I'm smelly, but it's not me! Elephant just won't take baths! 

The counselor at school doesn't see Elephant when I show her either. She wants to hear what me and Elephant talk about. But then she says she had to call my mom, and do I let, and I'm just a kid, and kids don't say no to grownups, so I say yes.

Mommy says I have to go to a special doctor. The doctor wants to know all about Elephant, but he can't see her either. He says there's a medicine I have to take and I do. Every day, even in camp.

I don't know where Elephant went. I can't find her, and it makes me sad. Why did she leave? I miss her. 

We (4/30/2019)

We sit, side by side

Older, younger

Bigger, smaller

Who is who?

Who am I, are we?

We create, side by side

adding, removing

placing, moving

pieces and parts

of personality.

I am she,

She is me,

Together-we.

See Me (undated, 2012)

 Do you see me
Do you hear
Can I be real
Or do I disappear
Am I anywhere
Or nowhere
Someone
Or no one
Words
flying through my head
too fast
for paper
Can you see me
Can you
Can you
Can you
Am I here
Am I real
Who am I anyway
Who am I

HL (2/17/2020)

 H. L.

a name

running through

my head

a pitter patter

whispering

filling the silence.

I don't know

an H. L.

she's not a

former schoolmate

Chazkeinu sister

student from my past

relative or

long lost friend.

Who are you,

H. L.?

How did your

name

end up

slipping into

the deep corners

and recesses of

my brain?

DID 11/22/2012

 DID

What's wrong with

Me

Lots and lots

Of

Parts and stuff

Singing

Inside my head

I

Can't ever hear what's

Said

Anger, sadness, hurt and

Pain

Split in parts inside my

Brain

Life's more fun but

Also

A doozie-when T takes over, I feel

Snoozie

Little Ones, Big Ones, In

Betweens

To me this is what

DID

means.

What Happened to Wednesday?

I walked for three hours the other day, through the city.
I didn't even notice.
How long it had been, I mean.

I should be almost done my college paper by now.
I'm not sure how many hours I sat here this week.
I don't know what happened to my paper.
I don't even know what it's supposed to be about.
Odd, considering the class is over on Monday.

I woke up this morning, unsure of what day it is.
Okay, that's pretty normal.
But then, I woke up again.
Still pretty normal for me.
But I couldn't figure out what had happened today.
What was from yesterday.
Wait, was yesterday Tuesday?
No, yesterday was Wednesday.
What did I do on Wednesday?
I just woke up.
But I was up before.
What did I do when I was up before?
I can't remember if I got out of bed.
If I picked out my clothes.
I know I was awake.
I talked to my mother.
Or maybe that was yesterday?
I checked my phone.
Today is Thursday.
Is this pile of clothing what I wore yesterday
Or what I picked out today?
Yesterday was Tuesday.
I went to the psychiatrist.
No, wait.
Today is Thursday.
I have a doctor's appointment today.
I better get up for real.
But wasn't it just Tuesday?

My mother asked if I was feeling better today.
Wait. I wasn't feeling well yesterday?
Wasn't it Tuesday that I was cranky?
But today is Thursday.
What happened to Wednesday?
Maybe my phone has the wrong day.
No, my iPod says the same date.
So does my computer.
And my calendar.

What happened to Wednesday?