memories of lace

while lying on my old bed
trying hard to fall asleep
i close my eyes real tight
please Hashem! no
dreams! but still...
here they come...

"please, pretty please?" his face all puckered
in question. how can i say
no? "i don't like it!" i
want to SCREAM...but
here we go again
why?
why do i always laugh?!
it's not funny..
oh, how i hate my
body's instincts...

"aren't these pretty? they'll fit...
won't you please try them on?
for me?" but...
i hesitate-underwear shouldn't
have holes. besides
i don't know. do
other girls do this
________for their older brothers?