spiders I

when the spiders come
they do what they want
and go where they want
and i can’t stop them

i cry, and call a friend
she stays with me while
i cry and complain
i have nothing nice to say.

i bite my hand. over the
phone, no one can tell that
my fist is stuck inside
my mouth and i hurt.

i try to scratch myself
to brush them away
but my body thinks
my hand is another one.

then, my mind wanders
and i can’t tell what
happened, what i read
and what’s my imagination.

but my body reacts
with more spiders
as though it’s all
happening to me now.