today was celebrate your strength day! i decided to use the day to help my pesach start off on the right foot, so to celebrate my 11th abuse free year, and my first ever CYS day, i went out for ice cream with shef. then, i took my sisters out to a pottery painting studio, where i made myself a tile with the words "celebrate your strength", that's going to be framed with a cork message board above it. i'll post a picture when it's ready, in around a week or so...
what do you do to celebrate your strenghts?
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
that time of year again
don't you love the holiday of pesach,
what a great time for sicko men.
but i just happen to be a survivor,
and it's that time of year again...
yup, it's that time of year again. i'm still alive, still suffering. i know i haven't been around much, and the truth is, i've been doing pretty well. suffering, but doing much better. in the last few months, i've accomplished more than i had in 12 years of therapy, and much more than i ever dreamed i was physically capable of doing. but pesach is back...
this year, i want my pesach to be different. better. so far, in my head, it's been all the same, despite the things that are already different. (he's in another country for pesach, there's no chance that i'll be bumping into him over yom tov...) the same memories...the same thoughts...same feelings...nightmares...body memories....all still there.
the hardest day of the year for me is less than a week away. this coming sunday will be exactly 11 years since the explosion. i'm dreading it...
my therapist suggested that i use that day to celebrate my strength...the strength and courage that allowed me to tell, to stick it out through all my therapists and all these years, through all the pain. i don't know how though....how do you celebrate such a thing? everything i can think of seems so....shallow. lame. so i'm stuck...
what a great time for sicko men.
but i just happen to be a survivor,
and it's that time of year again...
yup, it's that time of year again. i'm still alive, still suffering. i know i haven't been around much, and the truth is, i've been doing pretty well. suffering, but doing much better. in the last few months, i've accomplished more than i had in 12 years of therapy, and much more than i ever dreamed i was physically capable of doing. but pesach is back...
this year, i want my pesach to be different. better. so far, in my head, it's been all the same, despite the things that are already different. (he's in another country for pesach, there's no chance that i'll be bumping into him over yom tov...) the same memories...the same thoughts...same feelings...nightmares...body memories....all still there.
the hardest day of the year for me is less than a week away. this coming sunday will be exactly 11 years since the explosion. i'm dreading it...
my therapist suggested that i use that day to celebrate my strength...the strength and courage that allowed me to tell, to stick it out through all my therapists and all these years, through all the pain. i don't know how though....how do you celebrate such a thing? everything i can think of seems so....shallow. lame. so i'm stuck...
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