I ran into a former teacher of mine last week. I haven't seen her in over ten years. We got to talking, she and I. As always, I hid behind my mask. My mask of being the Bais Yaakov girl she thinks I am.
She mentioned how she remembers my davening. I remember it, too. And it made me so angry.
She SAW! She SAW the pain I was in, all those years ago. She SAW how I cried.
I remember her asking once, what was wrong. I didn't answer her. And she accepted my silence. She didn't probe. She didn't tell me that no matter what, I can come to her.
She chose to take the easy way out. She chose to assume...what? I don't know what she assumed. Maybe she thought I had a sick relative?
She watched me daven, and cry. Five days a week, for an entire school year. And then I moved on, to another grade, another teacher. I wasn't her problem anymore.
And I continued crying. Silently.
(hug)
ReplyDeleteThat is so, so sad. I'm sure she never imagined what pain you were in...
i agree with devorah...how could she assume/know what you were praying for? i'm sure she cared and would've help had she knows and if she could've...
ReplyDeleteSorry, I disagree. You see a girl crying every day, from September to June, and only make one attempt to reach out? She could have done more.
ReplyDeleteLS, I agree with you that one attempt was not enough. I didn't mean to disregard what you wrote in your post. My comment was just saying that she probably never imagined how much pain you were in and what was really going on. If someone really cares and sees a girl cry every single day when they daven, it's their responsibility to step forward and reach out to their student. Once is not enough.
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