Thursday, February 12, 2009
popping pills
popping....pills....makes me....ill....keep 'em on my....windowsill....take them nightly....against my will....yet i continue....to pop 'em still....hope that soon ....my bloodstream fills....with enough....meds to kill....or to give me....a happy thrill....which wish do you....think He'll fulfill....?
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Suicidal ideas? Hurting yourself by your thoughts? That's not good. Is there anything in this world that can make you happy in a short term?
ReplyDeleteIs this the kind of pills that make you all sleepy and you can barely keep up a day?
ReplyDeleteIs it the kind of pills that make hands and feet feel heavy like lead?
Is it the kind of pills that make muscles in the face twitch?
Is it the kind of pills that put a transparent curtain between you and the world?
Little sheep, we are rooting for you. Don't worry, you remain yourself, even if the pills seem to change you.
Don't be discouraged. You will come back to your old self, and you will find your alert little sheep, with plenty of humor. Take it as if you had the flue: a phase where you sleep more than usually.
bts-i'm not actively suicidal right now, don't worry. my thoughts usually hurt, whether intentional or not. and to your third question...i don't know. i just don't know.
ReplyDeletetwinkle-not that sleepy, no. they're really not all that strong. sometimes, i wish they were...
what are you on? just curious
ReplyDeleteanon, whether you'll be getting the answer to that question depends entirely on who you are. email me (email address is in my profile) telling me who you are, and i might answer you. if you want to know the meds i've been on in the past, you can see my post "meds" in the archives (july '08)
ReplyDeleteCan I ask you to find answer asap? That's for your sake, you know...
ReplyDeletelol ... I gave you my name, I'm Anonymous. You know, the one who shows up & then leaves ... don't think we've met, we couldn't have ... it was a nice try though
ReplyDeleteand this blog is already out of my league
but, I answered!
bts, it really depends what you call "short term"
ReplyDeleteanonymous, you'd be surprised! plenty of people have never seen this side of me, even though they've known me for years...
Long term = healing.
ReplyDeleteShort term - something that could be accomplished within a day/week/month at most. Some interesting trip, activity, whatever. Don't give you suggestions so that I don't drag you out from the right answer.
BTS, i'm not really sure what your question is. if you want to know if i have anything to fill my days, all i can say is that i have plenty of half finished projects sitting around, and no desire to take care of them.
ReplyDeleteWell my question was about something that could make you happy and I don't know if these projects could be accepted as answer. I'm looking for something as simple as possible. So some one that could be flowers, for another it could be a 10000 pieces puzzle or a mentioned trip somewhere for couple of days... Something that would make you smile and feel happy for some period of time.
ReplyDeleteHowever let me ask you about what are these projects as it may answer on my other question and I'm just curious ;)
some examples would be my abandoned sketchbook, scrapbooking, and writing (not blog writing).
ReplyDeleteWhy do you call them projects? DO they any special goal?
ReplyDeleteI see you decided to skip my original question - was I still unclear with my explanation of my question?
oops, sorry BTS. i don't know what would make me happy. i really don't.
ReplyDeletedude, 10000 piece puzzle only makes you happy until you get to the part where the pieces don't fit or can't find a piece, and then "the urge to kill rising"
ReplyDeleteor is that just me
LS, I'd tell you what could make you happy but not a good idea with the meds you're taking. I have a friend, he's taking meds for depression, anxiety and a trip to psych ward after he tried to do "something". Well, after hearing me talk about weed, he tried a little and had a bad, though not very bad, reaction because of the meds.
@Moshe - stop spoiling frum girls!
ReplyDeleteDon't knock it when it works :-P
ReplyDelete@Moishe - she can't be always high. Otherwise - what's the point?
ReplyDeleteI didn't say always. When feeling down. Though smoking with friends is very preferable.
ReplyDeleteThere's salvia which is legal, but it's more of a meditation/hallucenogenic thing.