positive post 30

this week i...

~visited with three friends

~helped a friend

~helped my sister

~said shema every night

~started taking omega 3 pills-and remembered them every day

~cooked for shabbos

~did laundry for my family

~visited with my sisters in law and my cousins

~ate at least two meals most days

~spent time with my siblings

have a great week everyone!

poem

from my friend, who goes by the name "been there"

Was fearless

And careless

As he got a hold of my trust

So youthful

And truthful

But gone with his thrust

I keep going

Not knowing

Something precious was lost

Now recreating

And evaluating

Can’t even fathom the cost

Memories uncontrolled

Horrors yet untold

Keep bubbling to the top

All that matters

Is left in shatters

stop STOP STOP!

There is no appeasing

It keeps teasing

Torturing my soul

This is bringing

A past so stinging

Its getting out of control

positive post 29

haven't done one of these in a while. i'm going to do this past week, as best as i can from memory...after that, i'll hopefully start getting better about writing things down.

~went to a family simcha

~went to therapy twice

~made my therapist proud (that deserves its own post, but...)

~spent shabbos with *me*

~went for ice cream with *me* and shef

~showered at *me*'s house :-)

~worked three days

~said shema almost every night

~called my friend in the hospital

under my covers
curled in a ball
protected by
mind built walls
still my skin
prickles
feel his
tickles
teddy and i
continue to hide
wishing away
the pain

scrubbing it off

dirt
filth
grime

scrubbing
it off
takes time

days
weeks
years

patience
work
tears

Last One

it's hard being
the Last One left.

first BG
then EG
then LE
then CK
then CM
then shef
then AS...

only LS
is left...

all the cousins
all the relatives
my own age
married
happy

but not
me

psychiatrist today

omega three
can help me
for exercise
make the time
the thing to do
cut pills in two