under my covers curled in a ball protected by mind built walls still my skin prickles feel his tickles teddy and i continue to hide wishing away the pain
Dear Little Sheep, I came across your blog totally by accident but my heart goes out to you. It must be so frustrating for you to undergo so much in your attempt to move forward. I really have no experience regarding these issues but I wonder if there is something about what happened in the past that is hounding you and making you feel guilty when of course you were so young and innocent and had no responsibility for what was done to you. What I am thinking is that on some level, especially at the beginning, there was maybe something vaguely pleasurable about some of the attention you got (without asking for it). Maybe that is what is making you feel so bad about yourself. You shouldn't! Hashem created our bodies certain ways and they are programmed to give us pleasure. If something he did may have made you feel good, ever, don't eat yourself up about it. It is over and we all daven for the day that you can turn the page and close the book on that horrile time forever. We daven for the day that you will shed your "old clothes" and put on your new ones and move on into a normal life and even find a man, yes, a man, who will let you be you and let you feel good about yourself.toleaph
Dear Little Sheep, I came across your blog totally by accident but my heart goes out to you. It must be so frustrating for you to undergo so much in your attempt to move forward. I really have no experience regarding these issues but I wonder if there is something about what happened in the past that is hounding you and making you feel guilty when of course you were so young and innocent and had no responsibility for what was done to you. What I am thinking is that on some level, especially at the beginning, there was maybe something vaguely pleasurable about some of the attention you got (without asking for it). Maybe that is what is making you feel so bad about yourself. You shouldn't! Hashem created our bodies certain ways and they are programmed to give us pleasure. If something he did may have made you feel good, ever, don't eat yourself up about it. It is over and we all daven for the day that you can turn the page and close the book on that horrile time forever. We daven for the day that you will shed your "old clothes" and put on your new ones and move on into a normal life and even find a man, yes, a man, who will let you be you and let you feel good about yourself.toleaph
ReplyDeletethanks so much for your kind words...
ReplyDelete