therapy journal 3

had a pretty good morning. i overslept-why am i so tired these days?-but i managed to help around the house before i left for work. now i'm home, and should be working. this morning, i think i was a four, now i'm a five. will write more later.

therapy journal 2

today i was a steady four almost the whole day. which is a pure miracle, cuz i didn't do anything different today than yesterday or the day before, until i got home. i've been playing music steadily ever since i got home. work was boring, as usual. nothing else to say

therapy journal

i'm supposed to journal every night this week. i have nothing to say. the guests left. but my sister still has stuff in my room. right now i'm at a six. still want to hurt myself, but trying really hard not to. been thinking about the hospital a lot. i don't want to go in, especially with my cousin's wedding getting closer. working on staying out...must work more on my grounding. i discovered a new way to stay grounded tonight: word association game. (thanks 1sheep!!)

falling

FALLING, FALling
lower, lower
must get up,
must be stronger
i can't do this
on my own...

*internet friends
are not what i need
my real life friends
are great indeed
but they can't do
enough for me

narrative

working on my narrative now in therapy. it's hard work. a lot of talking about things i'd rather not think about. therapist transcribing every word i say-literally. i'm itching to write a poem...about anything, but especially about this experience, but it's just not working. i have major writer's block going on here.

so just letting you all know that i'm ok, really.