Monday, January 22, 2018

See Him

Don't you see him?
He's right here!
How can you see me
But not the
Person pushing down
Crushing
Suffocating
Tearing me apart?

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Shrink

Shrink inside
Hide
Shrivel up
And die.

Friday, December 29, 2017

Shame

Curl up
Shrivel
Shrink into myself
Slowly disappear

Shame

Monday, December 18, 2017

Help vs. Advice

There's quite a lot I need in my life.
Some of it, you can give me.
Some of it, you know someone who can.
And one of it has to come from God.

Sometimes, I need help.
If I come to you with a request for help,
And it's not something you can do for me,
Saying "I'm sorry I can't help you with that"
Is fine.
Is good.
Is even helpful.
Honesty helps.

Sometimes, I need advice.
If I come to you for advice,
And it's not advice you can provide
Saying "I can't help you with that"
Is fine.
Is good.
Is even helpful.
Honesty helps.

But if I come to you for help
And don't ask for advice
Please don't offer it.
It hurts.
It makes me feel like you don't trust me.
Trust my judgement.

So just stop.
Please.

And when you condition your help
On me going against the advice
And professional recommendation of my treatment team
Not only do you sound dumb
And unhelpful
But I begin to question
Whose best interest you have in mind-
Is it mine
Or your ego's?

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Nightmare

When you have a nightmare
And one of your favorite people in the world
Hurts you
And you know it's not real
But you still need to reality check it
But that person
Is away from home
With no cell phone
And you just
Have
To
Wait