Tuesday, November 18, 2008


i need to go someplace very far away
but i know i won't be getting there today

he's hurting me.
i know this is not real.
it's not happening now.
in fact, this...this...feeling
that i'm having right now,
this hurt,
i don't think it was ever real.
but it hurts.

i'm trying...i'm trying so hard.
why doesn't it go away?
why won't it leave me?
i'm doing everything i can
to make it go away.
but it won't.

maybe...maybe some of the answers i gave today weren't true.
maybe i'm deluding myself.
maybe i really do have serious mental health issues.
besides for the ones i admit to (depression, ptsd, suicidal thoughts, SI)
maybe i'm just a big, fat liar.
maybe they shouldn't be leaving me here
in my house
with my thoughts.
maybe i should be locked away

i can't anymore...
i can't keep doing this...
where's the log off button on my brain?


  1. Im so sorry your hurting so badly.. I wish I could take it all away. I know what it feels like to be trapped inside of your own head- its just miserable... Your not crazy, what was done to you is crazy. I know its hard not to confuse that... I just wanted u to know that Im here and listening.

    ~ K

  2. thanks kacy!

    i wish i could take it away too...but somehow, it never works!


  3. oh I know- all too well.



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