deep breath...ok...i can post this...

(i never showed this one to anyone. not even my closest friends. a little-well, more than a little-scared to post this...little sheep scrunches up eyes real tight, then realises she can't possibly read what she's going to type with her eyes closed...)

blank mind, version II (original date of this version: 08/09/08)

i'm lying on my mother's bed.
staring straight at the ceiling.
no one's around but me and him-
they must all be out, or sleeping.
still don't know what i am wearing
or why i was there of all places
and i can't think of why there is background noise-
maybe one of my other siblings is awake in another room?
he wants to try something.
i don't know what.
he's on top of my and i'm in pain.
i know i'm screaming
but i don't know where the pain is.
his face is very red.
i don't know if it's significant or not
cuz everything about him is.
red i mean.

i'm no less scared after typing this than i was before. in fact, i think i'm even more scared now. this crazy thought just popped into my head that there was someone else in the room.

it can't be true. IT CAN'T!