I'm sure telling half-truths isn't the healthiest thing to do.... but keep in mind that good therapists are smart enough to know that patients don't want to tell them everything at once.
And if you only shook your head, instead of verbally saying "no", the therapist might already intuit that there's more beneath the surface that may be talked about later. Therapists are pretty hit-and-miss. I haven't found any formula yet for predicting who's a good therapist vs. who isn't. If you trust and respect the person, you may gradually open things up over time that you weren't willing to before.
Remember also that they're not gods; therapists are human just like you and me.
Actually, nothing counts or matters unless they count and matter to you. Therapy is for you.. about you... whatever feels right to you is fine. the question is only what your goal is?
i can really understand the need to lie. it's actually not even a lie. it's only fear of telling the truth. call it whatever you want. you're NOT a 'stupid freakin liar'you are a courageous, strong, powerful person who's trying so hard to get through with this stuff and heal.
when you'll be ready, you'll come out with it. if the therapist asks doesn't mean you have to answer. you can even say you prefer not to talk about it now...you can say anything...the point is to do this at your own pace...in your own way...and in a way that makes you feel comfortable. If doing it this way makes you feel like a liar then maybe you can figure out a more positive way.
my therapist once asked me a question that freaked me out. i was like "do you want the truth?" she was like "yeah, of course!" so i said, "then let's not go there now cause i'm gonna lie." it came out funny cause she got the answer but...whatever...my point is that we all want to hide behind what 'they' call 'lies' when it gets hard. as long as you know the truth...as long as you don't lie to yourself...
you're doing a'right...take it slowly...one step at a time...and please- STOP CALLING YOURSELF NAMES!! have some compassion...for yourself...for the wounded child...for the part that's putting all it's energy into trying to heal...
ora-yeah, that's basically how you deal with it. hit and miss. and miss and hit. or actually, it's more like miss and miss and miss and miss and miss and miss and miss and miss and miss...and hit?
I'm sure telling half-truths isn't the healthiest thing to do.... but keep in mind that good therapists are smart enough to know that patients don't want to tell them everything at once.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you only shook your head, instead of verbally saying "no", the therapist might already intuit that there's more beneath the surface that may be talked about later. Therapists are pretty hit-and-miss. I haven't found any formula yet for predicting who's a good therapist vs. who isn't. If you trust and respect the person, you may gradually open things up over time that you weren't willing to before.
Remember also that they're not gods; therapists are human just like you and me.
Actually, nothing counts or matters unless they count and matter to you. Therapy is for you.. about you... whatever feels right to you is fine. the question is only what your goal is?
ReplyDeletei can really understand the need to lie. it's actually not even a lie. it's only fear of telling the truth. call it whatever you want. you're NOT a 'stupid freakin liar'you are a courageous, strong, powerful person who's trying so hard to get through with this stuff and heal.
when you'll be ready, you'll come out with it. if the therapist asks doesn't mean you have to answer. you can even say you prefer not to talk about it now...you can say anything...the point is to do this at your own pace...in your own way...and in a way that makes you feel comfortable. If doing it this way makes you feel like a liar then maybe you can figure out a more positive way.
my therapist once asked me a question that freaked me out. i was like "do you want the truth?" she was like "yeah, of course!" so i said, "then let's not go there now cause i'm gonna lie." it came out funny cause she got the answer but...whatever...my point is that we all want to hide behind what 'they' call 'lies' when it gets hard. as long as you know the truth...as long as you don't lie to yourself...
you're doing a'right...take it slowly...one step at a time...and please- STOP CALLING YOURSELF NAMES!! have some compassion...for yourself...for the wounded child...for the part that's putting all it's energy into trying to heal...
all the best,
'tova'
Thank you AZ and tova.
ReplyDeleteHow do you deal with the "hit and miss" problem?
Just try as many therapists as you need till you find one who suits you?
AZ-i rarely have a voice in therapy, so verbally vs. head shaking really doesn't say much about what's going on in my head.
ReplyDeletetova-we'll have to discuss this in another way, not on here. you say too much.
ora-yeah, that's basically how you deal with it. hit and miss. and miss and hit. or actually, it's more like miss and miss and miss and miss and miss and miss and miss and miss and miss...and hit?
ReplyDeletei say too much what, dear??
ReplyDeleteam i not getting it or am i ummmm....just not getting it?????? care to explain?
and ora,
hope you stop hitting and missing. that can be really frustrating.
so long....
'tova'
what i mean tova, is that your comment was so long that i can't respond to it here. i need time to process what you say in little bits and pieces.
ReplyDeleteoh, got it...(i'll pass the fork and knife.)
ReplyDeletesorry, i'll try to keep my comments short and to the point in the future.
hope your doing well.
'tova'
all depends on what "doing well" is.
ReplyDelete