visit

how can i let sleep overtake my body and spirit
when i know the room across the hall has a monster in it
the very red haired one that i once bit
who the knowledge of his presence makes me wanna vomit
does it make any sense, does it even fit
that i haven't yet reached my limit
that i don't need someone to stay outside and "doorsit"
and guard me from him every second, every minute?

pressure

watch the teardrops slowly fall
i can't breath my lungs feel small
my heart pounds and thumps
hands shake so hard they jump
i'm not ready for this don't they know
but i should've learned ages ago
that though people really try
they just cannot understand my cries

stop

pain.
my heart hurts.
i wish i knew how to stop the pain.
but of course it hurts.
it's trying to punch out
its emotions
but
my ribs are getting
in the way.
just tell me how
to stop the pain.

reality check

some people struggle spiritually

in___a___very____public__way

you see their ups, you see their downs

every______single______day

but some people's struggles

are worse than what you think

you don't know (though you may think you do)

how low their minds really sink

what's going through their heads

while that uplifting song they're playing

or repeating the "chap" of a pshat

______________they heard or their face is hidden while praying...

what are the real words

________________images

_________________ thoughts

______________________floating through my mind

__________________when you look at me and say

__________________ how i'm so spiritually inclined?

you think i'm frum,

____________you think you know me,

well here's a reality check-

______________i'm buried much deeper than you can see

doomsday

(this poem is deliberately being put on the wrong date, to preserve my anonymity.)

lying in bed, all alone
trying to reach a friend on the phone
seems in lonely darkness i'll roam
cuz they're all simply not available or home
it's doomsday, my body's reaction's to groan
i try to quiet the inevitable moans
the prickling and tickling my skin and my bones
like i'm being run over with a fine toothed comb
and with with a needle and thread i'm being sewn
my body's being taken over, no longer my own
the pains won't stop with ice cream cones
or stretching and tugging on a piece of foam
as though the pain is set in stone...
will somebody, anybody soon be home,
and comfort me, tonight, over the phone?