Thursday, August 7, 2008

putting together the pieces

woke up in the morning feeling fine,
got to work not so on time
everything's okay until [insert name i hate]
got into his "hit everyone" state
the closest teach there of course, was me
and i had to protect victim #3,
so i called his name (ouch) pulled him close to me
and he sat on my lap, ever so sweetly.
wouldn't have been so bad, but to keep him separate from the other kids,
he stayed alone with me as i filled the garbage to the lid.
Just me.
in a room.
with a kid.
[insert name]
who seems to have a violent streak, like "Jack."
All this time i practice breathing, and putting on an act.
Finally, he's gone, and i finish my cleaning,
head for the car, we're finally leaving,
but how do you fit 6 people in the back seat?
it was a very "touching" ride, i "loved" it! it was sweet!
came to my room, dropped down my stuff,
ready to rest after a day so rough,
and i guess with the name [insert] on my head for so long
it hit me so hard-my bed location's wrong!
i try to ignore that hit, to curl up there and get just a little rest,
but now with that perspective, my BED gets me stressed!
i'm falling and falling but not yet too deep,
take blankets, pillows, bear and phone, curl up in a ball to sleep
well, sleep came all right, to long and bad
because of the terrible nightmares i had.
i must have been thrashing around, it seems,
that as a result of my "wonderful" dreams,
two pillows, blanket, teddy and phone,
my suitcase, all the papers, found a new home,
jumped 1/2 a foot when i realized all right-
that the room was now dark, and i had no light!
never made it to the light switch, instead,
a random memory sent me curled up in a bed!
well maybe not so random, now that i can think
that's when i noticed the room layout again, and boy did my heart sink!
the bed i've been sleeping on, well all of them really,
are set up like my room was then, almost to a T!
i'm guessing that that's when i wrote "The Night Before,"
when some some sort of body memory sent me to the door!
i froze there in pain, could no longer move
how long i stood there? no one can prove.
most of this is really speculation,
and i'm not sure how i got into the next situation,
i think that right before i could dash out to the bathroom,
to wash away the dirty feeling that could lead to doom,
YB walked up the stairs and the opportunity was lost
cuz i got so scared then that it wasn't worth the cost
somehow i ended up curled on the closet floor,
forgetting to turn the light on first, like i meant to do before.
i don't know how long i was there, although
i do remember trying to calm my mind, from racing to and fro,
by doing what everyone tells me to-
breathe and breathe it through.
i thought if i banged hard enough C would hear,
if she came the darkness could quickly disappear
but C couldn't come, and i continued to lie,
cuz i needed the light to get up, don't think i didn't try!
i tried a few times to undo my ball,
but every time a sound or movement made me fall
back to the floor and curled up in fear,
until Mrs N rescued me from my despair!

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